Sir Guard
by Harmony283
Summary: The Guard raised an eyebrow  or at least, she assumed he did. Again the helmet was in the way , "I mean whatever you think I mean, m'lady." Scene: I Breaking the Fourth Wall NEW FIC R&R PLEASE


**A/N:**…Hmm, well…this is one fandom I didn't know if I'd be able to ever really come back to (writing wise—I've played Twilight Princess all summer), yet here I am. Uploading this. This which looks like a drabble, but don't let that fool you. It's actually just a scene. A scene in a chaptered fic, which this will be. Basically meaning: expect really short chapters and really long chapters. No I don't know if the next chapter will be long/short but I'll try to even it out as I go along (I'm in University and heck, it hasn't even been a full two weeks and I'm already pressed for time). So here's hoping you'll at least get a good laugh (and the cameo characters…when they actually show up?)

I'm sorry for making Zelda sound a bit evil in this. I _don't_ actually dislike her. She's just really, really bored right now. Can you blame her? I would be too if I was watching Link kill ChuChu's.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Legend of Zelda or any of its characters. I do, however, own the **Guard** until I can actually figure out who he's supposed to be. *bows*

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Upon recollection, Zelda knew, maybe this hadn't been such a great idea. In fact, she was certain of it when she watched Link swing his sword for the umpteenth time to kill a harmless looking Green _Blob_.

Her left eyebrow twitched.

Link killed another (Red this time).

Her fingers tapped restlessly against the arm of her (very, very ornate and _comfy_) chair.

And another (blue), and another (_yellow_)

"I thought you could only have four bottles," Zelda grumbled under her breath, watching Link rush around to collect the gelatinous goop. "What's he going to do now that they're all _filled_."

"I assume he'll take it to the Mad Scientist in Castle Town." She frowned at her guard, who cringed, "H-He turns them into potions, m'lady."

"Really? Are they useful?"

The Guard swallowed, "They...ah...they don't taste good but...the red restores energy, green magic power, yellow I'm not quite sure*, and blue...does both."

Zelda raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "So this is somehow useful?"

"Yes, m'lady. Anyone who has a monster manual or played the game long enough would know this is one way to win." The Guard attempted to smile, but it never reached his eyes. Zelda supposed it was because she couldn't see them. Hah, hah.

Wait. What had he...said?

"Pardon?"

The Guard drew back, "M'lady?"

"What do you mean by 'played the game long enough'?" She turned her eyes back out onto the field, "You mean to say...?"

The Guard looked half panicked, half joyful and half...scared, but then that's what panic _was_...wasn't it?-"Well yes? This is a game of strategy after all."

Zelda huffed, "And what else?"

"Possible fame?"

"And...?"

"Well they have to stop sometime to eat so...free food?"

Zelda snorted this time, turning her gaze back towards the field where Link was holding up yet another bottle filled to the brim of gelatinous crap, "Oh. For a second there I thought you meant something else."

The Guard raised an eyebrow (or at least, she assumed he did. Again the helmet was in the way), "I mean whatever you think I mean, m'lady."

"And I _think_ you need to hold your tongue."

"Yes m'lady."

"I meant it."

Having a Guard that actually spoke something _other_ than nonsense was, well..._nonsense_. Right?

She didn't bother to see if anyone in her head agreed with her. That didn't quite matter right now.

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*Yellow ChuChu's- Anyone who's played Wind Waker will know the Yellow ChuChu's don't give you a special kind of jelly (not sure if it's like this in any other game. I know they're rare in TP). I'll be expanding on this later. **EDIT**: Okay never mind for TP those are _Gold_ ChuChu's (you'd think I'd know this...after going through that Cave of Ordeal's place twice and having to remember to shoot the glittery spots on the ceiling *cough*) thanks to** Gabrielus Prime **for pointing that out for me XD

Reviewing isn't mandatory, but I've had issues beforehand with not getting reviews for months on one single chapter (particularly for this fandom). So I **would** like reviews, at least to know if people think this is worth continuing (if not…it'll go with my other LoZ stuff over on deviantArt)

-Harmony283


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